Back to work today after two glorious weeks off.
Yes, I'm a teacher. We look forward to our time off as much (if not more than) as our students.
Today was rough. It started out great. I got to school and was in such a good mood, but then once the students arrived, it seemed as if I never had a break.
I try my absolute best to try to explain the concepts in a way that the students will understand. In fact, I spend a lot of time trying to figure out the best and easiest way to try to teach it to them. Then, as I look out at my class, I see the same kids with their heads down or their eyes closed. Is it any wonder that these are the students who are not passing my class? I am constantly saying something to them, but this is their behavior every day, all period long (which is 90 minutes). Today, one of these students blurted out, "No one understands what you're saying!" Thank goodness, other students spoke up, one by one, saying "I do."
I told her that it was her responsibility to ask questions when she didn't understand something, as soon as she became confused. If no one asked questions, then I was under the impression that everyone understood.
This was first period, so that pretty much set the tone of the day. But, the other classes are a year older than first period, and they are not as rude. So, they put me back into a better mood.
I taught all day long with just a 45 minute break for lunch (and bathroom use). Then I came home and began my school work that I couldn't get done in during the day (since I was teaching all day long).
I let the dogs out to play, then went outside to take a plant inside since it was going to get cold tonight. That was when I saw two of my dogs, running towards a little girl on a bicycle, barking, barking, barking. Of course, she was terrified and dropped her bike, and ran back towards her house. I ran to the dogs, but they took off. I feel horrible that my dogs scared this little girl to tears. I apologized to her dad, and he said it was OK, but I know it is not. When I got back to the backyard, I saw a slat from my wood fence had fallen down, so the dogs got into my neighbors yard. She has not kept up her fence, so they were able to leave her backyard and go free into the neighborhood. I managed to nail the slat back onto the panel, but the entire panel is coming loose because of rot and termites. I am going to have to ask friends to try to help me fix this part of my fence (since my neighbor will not fix it, and it really is her part of the fence).
I drove around the neighborhood, looking for the two dogs, but I did not see them at all. One of them was the new dog, so I am not sure how much she will run. I drove around the block twice, and when I got back, they were in the front yard. Thankfully, they both came right up to the door. But, I don't know what to do with the neighbor little girl. Do I ask her to come down to meet the dogs? Do I buy her something? I just don't feel like I should leave it alone, but I don't know what to do. Her parents do not speak English as their first language, so I'm not sure how much I can convey to them.
Tomorrow, I will teach the same lesson to three other classes, plus I actually have a period off in which to do my work. Then, I'll come home, let the dogs out, feed them, and then I'm off to an Eagle Scout Court of Honor for a former student. After that, I have to do my lesson plan for Wednesday/Thursday.
I am just trying to keep busy. It has been suggested to me that I think of what I have, not what I don't have. I wish I could. I think of how another woman has the life I had (and wanted). Spending the same vacation times together. For most of our married life, I spent all of my vacation time by myself (or with my sons). My former husband worked retail, so he had to work weekends and some nights. I usually had to do things on the weekends by myself. Now, that he's a teacher, I was looking forward to having weekends off and summers off. I had that for one year, then he found someone else to do that with.
OK...I'll stop. I have to focus on what I have. I have two wonderful sons...one who lives with me (because he has an entry-level job and is trying to pay off his college loans). I have three dogs who love me unconditionally, and whom I adore. I have a house that will be paid off in 2013. The house is not huge, but it large enough for me. We bought new furniture around 4-5 years ago, so I have furniture that is paid for and is not run down. I have a job that I usually enjoy, teaching a subject that challenges me, with students who are intelligent. I have a job that pays me enough to pay my bills and enjoy other things such as season tickets for myself and my younger son (oldest son buys his own season ticket next to us) to the Jacksonville Jaguars, I have a few close friends who support me and a family who supports me, even though my family is 1000 miles from me.
I have a car that is paid for and neighbors who are good. I have a new heat pump (that I was able to pay for it myself) so that when the temperatures become 100+ degrees this summer, I will stay cool. I am able to go out to eat with my friends and not worry about whether I can afford it. AND, I have my health. I am 8+ years after my breast cancer diagnosis.
I guess I need to focus on these things. But, sometimes, I am lonely. I just cannot forget that part.
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